I will ride, I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky

I don't really remember how much time has passed since my last blog. It says the last post was 25th June but that doesn't mean an awful lot in real money to me. I have a few milestones but they all seem to happen in one lump at the start of August and really nothing happened in July.

• My books acquired mould again, very much against what I had hoped but that is the way life is. I still don't have my primary bookshelves anymore, which makes my room look bigger but sader because books are lovely! It chose to occur when no-one was at home except for me (of course) and so that was hella stressface all over!
• Printing orchestral scores is a pain in the arse and highly stressful too. I don't recommend it to anyone (unless you are a professional printer or you enjoy inducing stress in your life, in which case by all means and do you fancy doing mine in the future?). However the scores looked pretty good even with the few hiccups that occurred, but we'll know better for next time :D
• Putting one half of my first pet to sleep. This was very much the most traumatic and it was worse because parents weren't home to deal with such issues (so I made Jonaface deal with the vets for me) and Tarq was in all day rehearsals which he couldn't miss. Her sister is still with me but I worry that she's going to get les mis (because rattybums do so). I still love her to pieces though.
• Iolanthe. After all that stress and sad the show was pretty good. I'm still apprehensive about it but mostly because I just wish I could do better. However I have been told that it sounded and looked fabulous so that's all that really matters :D that and everyone seemed to have a fantastic time! In fact I'm going to elaborate a little on Iolanthe thoughts right here and now but in a haphazard sort of way :P

Score carrying, constant rechecking, front seat, Panda driving, Les Miserables belting and half casting, over the mountain, through little villages, remeeting and new meeting, little cottage, spiral staircases, lots of talking, fun times and laughing, expensive taxi, cosy bedding, early morning, detour breakfast (not open, back to tescos), flute and piccolo playing, photo taking, wrists breaking, parent meeting, performance time, new dress (very exciting), avoiding anyone in white, pretty sure lunch was somewhere, showtime starting, not bad overture, photos midperformance, MD missing, 2nd act, applause, packing up, get out quick, dump stuff, Panda, pubtime talking, soup snack eating, chinese foodles, tastynom, travel back home with acquired Annak, sleep times again, lazy start, dreams are shattered and ice cream is dust, dreams reborn, TINY TRAIN, sweetie shop, breakfast time, 14 rolls and 16 rolls, old books and dice, new books and maps, Penistone and being sworn at by locals, tiredout, home time.

• Started second job, it was pretty good and easy enough (we were on a quiet bar that served the boxes so there was minimal customer contact). Hoping to get many more shifts but certainly don't have enough hours to move out yet >:( it is all of the rubbish.

Those are all the things that I think I have done of note recently. I haven't really been up to much, taking a break from G&S because MY GOD too much in one week much! Although I do miss G&S uni group and it's weekly rehearsals and seeing those people and I miss G&S second group (I don't remember if I gave names anywhere but I try not to use any names ever in anything because I enjoy it :P) and the people there, I will be very much glad when it all starts up again even though that means stresstastic times for me as I have two scores currently in progress and another two that may or may not make an appearance (one my brother is dealing with... aaaat some point and the other isn't confirmed yet). This whole G&S malarky seems to take over lives and I swore I wouldn't let it happen but it has and I'm not 100% complaining :P not yet anyway!

Last night I was lying in bed and my brain was composing. I was writing music and I thought to myself, should I get up (even though I've already gone to bed and am starting to go to sleep) and write and write and write (or possibly sit in front of a computer screen and curse my inability to create the things that are in my head even though they are there and waiting) or sleep at a decent time (like I have been for quite a few nights now) and hope that inspiration does not desert me. I chose the latter and inspiration did indeed desert me like a stealthy thing in the night. WHICH IS A MAJOR BOTHER! *mental salute to Maj. B* I am forever losing these moments and yes I should have just got out of bed and hoped that I wasn't still working on things until 4am but I didn't and blah!

It was after watching Brave (which, by the way, made me cry more than once because I am a sap and Pixar are just too good at everything) and the whole folky music style thing which I've been wanting to do for ages because I've been contemplating writing music with a purpose but haven't quite got round to doing anything about it. Maybe I should do some concept arts on the matter and make an immersive world and scenes and stuff and compose to that but anyway, it got me totally wired and thinking about stuff that I wanted and I was getting little riffs and instrumentation and linking phrases from one to the other and it was awesome and now it's all gone (verysadface).

Brave reminded me that I wanted to learn Gaelic (technically I wanted to learn Irish Gaelic because I love Clannad's music but Scottish Gaelic would be just as fun). Actually one thing I didn't quite get was the ages of people when they were young. Those three tiny boys, I have no idea how old they are meant to be but they seem older than their stature would make you presume. They are brilliant though. The whole thing is wonderful and I'm so glad that they made it.

I'm also hella glad that I've ordered the ost already so that when it arrives I can listen to it and hopefully be inspired. I'll have to work fast on concept arts and things for what I want to do although whether I can get everything done in time is another matter.

I also want to try and plan another NaNoWriMo but I don't know if I can, at least not in time for this November, but it's always worth trying, if I don't start now then November will be here and then it will be too late to plan for this one but too early to pressure me into planning for the next one. I'm just not sure where or when I want to set. I mean I never specify in any of my stories on that matter but is it a dystopian future, a rural past, a parallel to our own time? This planetesque? Outer spaceesque? I have a few, really I should work on L'u and Dust but I worry it's too similar to other stories I know but since I'm never going to publish it does it really matter? I worry I don't have enough to get me going but then even though I planned Snow for about 3 years I didn't know a lot about the story until I started NaNo. Will I jsut end up recycling characters too much? Will I always have an emphasis on music even accidentally that it bores people?

I should really finish Snow. I mean it has beginning, middle and end but somewhere in the middle it got to the bit that I couldn't be bothered to write out fully and so I did it in note form. I mean I still hit 50k in the month but it's not a complete novel currently and it's been a couple of years since I tackled it so I might be ok delving back into it. I should also look at what material I can salvage from previous writings, I have so many snippets, mostly from the same type of universe, that I should try and bring, at least the ideas from, together. I don't want to be a writer, many of my friends either do or have gone through that as an idea, but I don't want to be a writer at all. I don't really want to have a job that relies too much on a constant stream of creativity. I just want to get ideas flowing, concepts brewing, world creating!

I'm just finishing the fourth (and final?) book in an excellent "twilight" series:

I was rather surprised 1. with the fact that for once Blogger has let me place the covers in the correct order with minimal fuss (comparatively) and 2. that this Russian series has a lot more to offer than the first film shows. If I remember correctly the first film is actually the first third of The Night Watch (the book) (although I was aware of something that happened in The Day Watch (book) that I think happens in TNW (film) which kinda confused me). It is certainly an interesting series and ok, yes, yet again we have magicians, witches, vampires and werewolves (and others) but it seems to be covered in a thick dusty layer of realistic grey and brown (like so many computer games these days that are known as "gritty realism"). However this does not detract from it (actually it is very much more grey than brown based on the twilight levels but that is something that should be read about and not spoilerised) and certainly takes away all this Disneyfication that fantasy has taken to doing currently (I'm thinking Harry Potter, Twilight and all that spawned after it). Although yes those books are for children/YA but this (whilst only found in the sci-fi/fantasy section in book shops, well away from YA/kids etc.) isn't exactly difficult to read and could have gone down the whole vampires are misunderstood/evil route but kind of sits in the middle of vampires are just vampires like people are just people. Not everyone is "evil" even if they are Dark and not everyone is "good" even if they are Light. It doesn't do a whole lot of moral stories though, just that people (or in this case Others) are just as unfortunate and messed up as everyone else. They are branded as one type or another but means about as much as the branding of a football team in the reality of everything. It's very good and the covers are excellent, imo.

I only had the first and the last to begin with. I had picked up the first I think new from Waterstones or somewhere, probably in a sale or in a special offer, because it was pristine and it is unlikely that you get those from secondhands. The last was a charity shop buy (Oxfam if I remember correctly but that might be a fabrication). When I started on the first and discovered that I was enjoying it I jumped straight onto amazon.co.uk and bought the next one (and then the third even though it would have made more sense to buy both at the same time but I'm trying really, really, really hard not to buy new books currently so though it best to wait and see on the matter and it came almost just in time for me to start reading after finishing the second book). One of the most interesting things about it though is less on the stories (which are good) and the writing (which is also very nice) but that when it mentions a thing that occurred in another book there is an asterisk and a note telling you where this information comes from. It happens not too often that you want to hit either the author, or the translator, or the publisher for allowing it to be on the page, but just often enough that it jogs memories when things are mentioned. My favourite one (and so far has only happened once and I'm half way through the second story of book 4) is on page 78 of The Last Watch:

"This story is told in the movies Night Watch and Day Watch."

I was amused :3

I've probably wittered enough for now (and maybe the next couple of months or so :P) and I want to try and finish this book tonight because things are getting intense and it's exciting! Maybe next time a little less rambly and a few more pictures? Although my blogs are nearly always more a higher ramble to picture ratio, I think it's just the way I am (and I use this as a omg-all-of-my-brain-be-out-on-this-digitalised-form-of-paper).

Love and fluffythings,

Buttercup xxxxxxxxx

It is easy in elegant diction to call it an innocent fiction.

So I've been pottering around this week, sometimes with purpose and other times just really aimlessly. Some of the things that have been happening (this will probably be a bit bitty as a post but I have a few things on my mind).

Firstly (ooh look and image :D I seem to be mostly just giving walls of text (WoT(TM)) at the moment so here is a piccy (although it is very old from the tail end of my flickr page)) I have started checking what music I have for flute copied into Sibelius and starting to copy up other pieces. I'm mostly focusing on the hard pieces because the easier ones are of little use except for nostalgia or if they're really pretty. I don't know what the piece is that is shown, I don't recognise it but it will have been something that I was doing at the time I took the photo many moons ago.

My main idea is to start playing again. I could have been pretty good at flute and piccolo but I left it at the wayside when flute lessons stopped and thus my attention to it waned. I mean it's starting to come back now that I play flute for some of the summer shows (and the music is pretty hard in places so I should really start practising asap on my hard music) and I can't do all the fast bits. I've never been good at fast pieces, my fingers get all mixed up, especially on piccolo, and I get easily flustered. If something goes wrong I find it hard to keep going.

The reason why I copy into Sib is that I can't work out rhythms by myself. I was never good at sight reading because I can't keep a steady beat. Sib helps in letting me play back a rough idea of what it should sound like. It's only rough because it sometimes doesn't understand grace notes too well and it puts no expression in. Computers, eh?

Another thing I've been doing is making a few bits and pieces for the show I'm in shortly (with Bette, Ralph and Hazy, although Bette and Ralph are also in another one which is sooner). I do love being in shows and I've become better at performing on stage but I still hate acting. I feel like a prat whenever I do anything so I end up standing there looking and feeling awkward. I love the singing though, and when dance moves are set. That's the bit I love the best. The running around looking concerned, excited or flirting? No, ta.

The show itself looks like it's going to be fabulous though. I shouldn't really be in it because I'm alumni but I'm so glad that I am. It's The Pirates of Penzance, which isn't one I've done or seen so that's good but it's also a great laugh. We have two directors, a choreographer and two musical directors which has been useful in some regards but also chaotic in others as everyone does things differently (even if only slightly) and that can cause slight confusion. It's worked out wonderfully though. I might bitch about having to go to rehearsals when I can't be arsed, about not having enough time to do this, that and the other, the amount of rehearsals when the show looms over, having to act, be on stage etc. but I will tell you this now: the three nights of show will never feel like enough and I will miss all of that when the final curtain closes and we all traipse off to get wonderfully pissed and sing G&S songs hideously drunkenly (probably in someone's kitchen somewhere). The people in G&S are wonderful and we always have a laugh in the end. I've made some really good friends over the years and that's really lovely.

There will be a feeling of loss when this show is over (as there always is) which will not be filled until the summer show (although I still have Iolanthe to finish copying up and help arrange, if our MD doesn't mind me giving my opinion in practical regards).

Kind of leading on from there I'm not sure how I feel about my voice. I don't think I have a very good voice at all for singing aside from in huge groups. :WARNING, this is not intended for sympathy/attention I'm just musing here: This issue I have is that my voice sounds weird to me. Like when I play it back or listen intently to it. I that this is standard for people but I find that my voice sounds weak and very much meh. But the weirdest part is that people seem to want me to sing. I know that I will never get a solo in a show (partially because of my non-existent acting skills and the fact that there are about 10 other people who are better than me at everything ever) and I'm really ok with that. I know of some people who would be grumpy if they did not get  role but I'm much happier without focus on me. 

Another thing that I have issues with is that I would like to record some music but then I have to contend with my voice. If I can get a DAW to work then I can go into electronica/pop type music and I can do all sorts of things with my voice and then it doesn't need to be great to begin with. I sometimes wish I was just more confident.

I was singing along to Les Miserables because mama was watching it and, partially didn't help that I was bent over a sewing machine at the time, I think I was kinda out for the whole thing. I can't really hit the highest soprano notes nicely anymore (I really need to practise that kind of thing because I used to be ok at that :/) and aside from some tiny bits everything sounded kinda crap when I was singing. It was kinda les mis making in itself. :(

But enough of the emoiding. I'm being rather introspective at the moment which doesn't help. Discovering things and stuff can be a bit of a boost in some regards and confusing in others, but again that's not for here.

I'm still working and it's going well although G has had to go on sick leave and the woman we have, A, is... different to what we're used to. She's not particularly bad but it's meaning that we're having to teach her the layout of the kitchen and stuff. It's a bother but nothing that isn't copeable with! :D

Not much else to report really, nothing I can think of. I'll take some nice photos over the week and try and put some up so you can see nice things as well as reading some words.

Lemonies, Buttercup xxxxxxxxxx

Trouble is a friend, but trouble is a foe, oh oh!

To the left is a sketch of my new friend, Trouble. She is a chicken (don't ask my what type because when I tried to find a similar type on google images the one that I found was subtitled "a very standard chicken" so breed = chicken) who I often see on my way to work.

She is, I presume, an escapee from the allotments that are on both sides of the road where she now resides. Ok she doesn't live actually on the road but on the shrubbed and treed verge. The first time I saw her I almost ran her down on my bicycle.

I would love to catch her and keep her as a pet but I think Smartie (cat) might actually try and eat her if I brought her into the house and we don't have a chicken coop. She also seems to be doing pretty well as she's been a free bird for over a month now.

The school I work at actually keeps chickens and I would love Trouble to be part of their... um... flock? That feels like the wrong word. I want to say herd but that is obviously wrong :P I've heard it is hard to introduce new chickens into a coop but it would be nice if she had somewhere warm to sit at night and there were fewer perils other than angry ladyhens.

I would have shown you a photo of Troubs but she's rather shy and so none of the photos were any good but from them I could make an ok picture :) I rather like having a chicken friend.

Other things in my life. I've spent lots of money so far this year so I'm going to have to cut back on that because it's les terribles, although I'm enjoying knowing that a set amount of money is entering my bank every month. Wages are possibly the best thing about jobs. Even if it was the best job ever and I loved it with all my heart... om nom wages! I bought some new nail varnish (yet more glitteries because that is where it is at) which I may show you if I remember to take photos. I'll upload photos from the other batches I've done too because I said I would but I forgots.

I mostly just wanted to tell you about Trouble. :3

Lemonses, Buttercup xxxxxxxxx

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save.

There are a few parts to this blog:
1. General update
2. Minecraft talk leading to scaryness
3. Nail varnish

I thought I would give you this knowledge in case you come across a block of text that you find boring. Everything kind of gets mixed together but that is the best way to split up my writing.


So I'm half way through my third week at work and I'm rather enjoying it. I am knackered every day after just two hours (although the two mile bike ride (one way) can't help towards that either, my poor thighs!) and my back has already started hurting (joy, oh joy, hello slow muscle crawl, hope I didn't miss you at all ¬¬) but we have good laughs.

I went on my first training session yesterday and it was just like being back at school for two hours (everything seems to be twos!) right down to me not knowing any answers... except I did get one but man I felt horribly stupid again. It's that engaging brain to do things... it just doesn't work on demand. I know I'm not that stupid I just can't seem to do very well in those scenarios. Except it was fine and I'll get paid for turning up and it was compulsory so it wasn't bad.

As a slight aside it was about diversity and equality and was actually rather interesting on what you can get called up on, or call people up on. But then got me wondering about identity and ended with some vodka apple to make shush :P

So work is going pretty well. In between work and other such things I am copying up the Iolanthe score for this year's Buxton. This would be fine, if it wasn't so damned long and such a complete arse(!) of a score. There are inconsistencies throughout and there are some pages that haven't been printed properly so you kind of have to make educated guesses on what notes you are meant to put. It's donkey work. It's not really very interesting but you can slave away and it's done without thinking too much. I was attempting to do the whole score in 2 weeks but that would have destroyed me so now I'm just working at it as much as I can.

In between doing that I have rediscovered my love for Minecraft. For such a cheap game (it was £7 for me almost a year ago but it'll be about that now or mebs up to £10) it's quite amazing and you don't have to pay for upgrades (of which there have been numerous). You essentially pay once for an account and you can play for as long as it is running. I love exploring, I love collecting and crafting. Making houses and enjoying the, however "pixellated" it is, the scenary. Notch has been playing with the light settings and wow I was rather impressed actually. I will tell you what I don't like though.

That. I don't like them at all. He is called an Enderman. It's from the Nether, which I haven't yet explored at all so I don't know anything about it. He can pick up blocks and move them (currently he is holding a dirt block). This is fine in itself, although it changes the scenery, so long as you don't make your safe house out of a "moveable" block because then he might let other, more hostile, mobs in, such as zombies and creepers. That is fine. Enderman, move what you like. If you make eye contact he will stare you down. I have only had one experience of this and it was from a safe place where I could hit him repeatedly until he stopped. He will approach you and stare at you. If you break eye contact he will kill you.

Now that's not a very nice way to play that game. He also has either a higher attack than you, a higher health bar than you or both because unless you can kill him before you break eye contact you will, at least nearly always, die (apparently, according to the wikia). Even that isn't too bad. Ok, try not to make eye contact with them, just don't look directly at them, that's plausible.

HE FECKING TELEPORTS.

This I cannot cope with. Unless the level is more than 3 blocks higher than the level he is currently on he can teleport onto it (I'm not sure how far lengthwise though... I saw one teleporting around from a nice high vantage point and it looked like about 30 blocks). I had one of them teleport next to me. What the actual hell? I practically died on the spot (it also didn't help that he was followed in very quick succession by a creeper... or more to the point I was followed). What if they teleport into your viewpoint and you realise too late because you were already turning? Why does it need to do something quite so damned creepy?!

Ok I have a major issue with teleporting things or more accurately, things that move without moving or without you being able to see them move. I was never the wolf in "What's The Time Mr. Wolf", except by force, because it creeped me out. Remember these guys?:

Yup Dr. Who's Weeping Angels. I found that hard to watch because of the "teleportation". I know, it's not quite the same but essentially it had the same idea. It moved without you seeing that it moved. It bothers me a lot. Although, yes they were creepy regardless. I think they were the scariest thing on that show yet (although I haven't watched half of Tennant or any of Smith so there may have been creepier but imo they are the ones that take that crown). (Another aside I just got distracted with a video of 500 miles (The Proclaimers) with the crew and some of the cast of Dr Who dancing along to it. It's quite cute, if only for wor David's grin all the way through).

I'll tell you someone else who creeps me out:

Most of the film (bar one second where it shows rope being pulled out of someone's mouth) I can watch fine. It's not really scary. Samara crawling out of the tv? Fine. Samara suddenly appearing in front of people, after crawling out of the tv, without needing to move? Hell no. Only part I can't watch. Point is, if I can't see it move, it's terrifying.

But enough of horribly creepy things. I should probably go to bed soon. Tomorrow is Friday (yay) which means that I get two days off (yay) before going back to work again on Monday (boo) but it does mean that I get to buy more pokemon cards (yay - it happens every Monday atm to make them better) and also I only have 3 weeks until we break up (yay) which is kinda rubbish because I haven't started Christmas shopping and it's not that long now (boo). I also get to paint my nails tomorrow (yay) because it isn't allowed at work (boo) but it shall be sparkly because I am all about the glitter atm (yay).

Just to share these are the ones I have right now:

Ok maybe I should make my own swatches at some point. Maybe I'll do one over the weekend (it'll be Snow Globe fo' sho' because it's my newest one and I need to try it out).

L-R T-B:

China Glaze: Snow Globe. White holographic sparkles of varying size. As of yet unknown quality.

China Glaze: Fairy Dust (bought to replace my old Miners Photo Finish that is very gloopy, but still works). Holographic glitter. Very nice to apply (probs because it's C.Glaze) and very good coverage.

Rimmel: Disco Ball. Surprisingly it looked exactly the same as one in the Miss Sporty range but I know Rimmel make up (even if Miss Sporty was £1 cheaper). Blue/silver sparkles of varying size. Nice but you need 2-3 coats to get good coverage at all.

Stargazer: 146. I dislike that stargazer have no names. The names are my favourite part :( Red, blue, green and silver glitters (slightly bigger than Fairy Dust). Nice to apply, quick to dry.

Barry M: Red Glitter. I agree with someone else, uninspired name much? It's got great coverage though and is my only non-silver/white based glitter. It's great over a crimson at Christmas.

17: Glitter Top Coat. Kinda uninspired by this one. Similar colour to Snow Globe but glitter instead of sparkles. It does not have great coverage (or it didn't on my toe nail, but they are tiny and it was far away from my face) but it's a nice colour (white holo, thus the purchase of Snow Globe although they might be nice combined).

I would like some different coloured glitters/sparkles/flakes. Actually I don't own any flakes yet but I have seen some and they are nommy. In winter I get all glittery and sparkly and in summer I like matt colours (which reminds me I should pick up a mattifying top coat at some point) in bright neons. I love wearing nail varnish. Love love love! I need to wear it more. I would like to be able to afford more China Glaze, O.P.I and Nails Inc. but they go past my usual budget of £5 max. I need to learn that it's ok to spend more now that I'm not reliant on pocket money :P It's difficult though and I do want ever so many things. And I still have no more room than last time we spoke.

Oh the difficulties in life! Maximum difficulty! D:

Anyway, lemons and fruit salads for all xxxxxxxxxxx

p.s. I'll let you know how my nail varnish turns out, if I remember.

p.p.s. For those who don't know my hair is now fuchsia, I'm still yet to get a good photo though :/

p.p.p.s. I realise I never tell you where my title is from. I would say "is that ok?" but I don't really mind if it isn't. I presume it doesn't really bother you or you google it if it does because really google is fountain of knowledge.

p.p.p.p.s. I know that fountain of knowledge is often a wiki name but really isn't it more a lake of wisdom? Actually I quite like these metaphors :D

p.p.p.p.p.s  Start now not tomorrow. :)
p.p.p.p.p.p.s. None of the images are my own. They were on googles.