And he made a little fiddle of her own breast bone

I found a thing on tumblr and I was just going to tell you about it but here is a link as well because then it makes my job a lot easier and less boring, also pi'tures :D

The thing I found on tumblrs!

Anyway the whole thing made me realise that whilst I believe that three of the best sammiches in the world are the following; ham & pease pudding, peanut butter & cucumber and ham, carrot & cucumber (ones for on a regular basis made with standard food found in the fridge), I certainly do not make interesting sandwiches ever. Most of the time I only make peanut butter ones because I feel like if I'm going to have bread it might as well have filling. (I do often, frequently, actually frequently, just eat ham straight from the packet because om nom and I always find that ham (unless you make an actual doorstop of the stuff) is really easily lost in flavours within sandwiches... it is also partially because I am lazy and that is easier and also bread is very stodgy).

I keep misplacing hairbobbles and this is a bother! Why do they always disappear all the time. Also why has insomnia returned? I was doing so damned well too!

Normally when I'm out and about and fancy a sandwich type dealy (normally this is a toastie or a panini) it is majoratively ham and cheese (although the last was BBQ chicken, bacon and cheese which was nomalicious!) (Found a hair bobble which makes life much better with hair off my face and neck). But so this website has made me think, it would be awesome to make interesting mini sandwiches (mini because it makes it more of a challenge and I don't feel overstodged with bread) but I can't think of cool ideas and it would require ingredients and things. I am pretty lazy after all, maybe I'll just imagine awesome sandwiches instead. Like I imagine making awesome cakes and then don't because Jona is better at making cakes and I just feel a tad fail in the end.

Two albums arrived over the past couple of days; Brave OST and Julie Fowlis -Uam (who is on the Brave OST)

I realise that I'm a little obsessed with Brave currently and while I do hope this will wane a little I don't really mind if it doesn't at all. However it is JF that I am mostly considering here. On Brave she sings in English (which was weird because Uam came first and thus I listened to that first), on Uam (which means 'from me') she sings approximately half a song in English and the rest in Scottish Gaelic. As part of the lyrics booklet there are both the lyrics and the English translations which is actually pretty awesome.

The music is lovely and folky and has some excellent folky harmonies and there is one piece that is a capella which is wonderful (Ho bha mi, he bha mi - it has accents on the o and the e but I can't be bothered to find them on here). I definitely want more of her stuff as it is very chilled but also awesome.

I've been having thinking on writing. It may be a story within the world of Snow but completely nothing to do with that at all but maybe just set in a similar world instead because it may be too hard to link them properly without going back and reworking a lot of things (which I can do if it bothers me I guess but isn't a necessity because no one will know but me :P) and as far as I can tell there is magic and dragons because these things are awesome. I also want it to be set northwards. Hills and mountains and forests and snow (not Snow but the weather variety that he is named after although I guess if it is the same 'realm' then it would plausibly be someone like Snow causing that... aaaaahh complicated!). It's purely writing my own escapism but that's cool with me :) Since I have an area that helps me a little, I have a couple of characters forming, no names which is a bother, but hopefully they'll solidify a little. I have absolutely no plot at all :D as far as I'm concerned it can be a free for all!

Until later, loves

Buttercup xxxxxxxx

I must be ahundred and nine, burning, burning, burning.

So... I'm having difficulty working out how to word all of this brainmush that's leaking out all over this metaphorical page. It's being a little impossible so I guess today we'll have to cope with my sporadic thoughts. There's just a bit more going on in there than usual.

First of all I've just finished an hour or so practising for the G&S summer show. There are some pretty tricky moments in a few of the pieces but there is one piece that is somewhat troubling me more than most and that's a piece from Floradora called "Tell Me Pretty Maiden" (not a G&S piece in case you were wondering and don't already know). In theory it's not that difficult. The issue is that it is on treble recorder and this is not an instrument that I am familiar with playing, certainly not before starting this piece. From what I can estimate using my knowledge of grade music for flute this is about grade 5 or 6 (guesstimation) which isn't bad going for someone who didn't know the fingerings for any notes until recently.

I mean it's obviously somewhat easier with the fact that I can already read music and I have a vague idea of how descant recorder works but the notes are all in the wrong place! It's so confusing >.< However I have been thinking, and it is a rather lovely instrument to play, that maybe I should learn some actual graded music. Not pass any grades because that's expensive and I would probably need a teacher and stuff, but just know the equivalent grade that I would be. Learn the scales, the music, maybe even buy some sight reading test books that instrument teachers seem to own, just to know the standard of that. I don't really need to go through the aural tests, I've done those to grade 8 flute.

I just think it would be nice to see how well I can do with it as an instrument. The main issue comes under which board I follow. Now most people would think that this only matters if you're actually taking the tests but if I follow ABRSM which is the standard in most schools, then I can just learn treble and everything is good. But if I follow The Royal Conservatory Of Music then for grade 1 I need to learn either descant or tenor and by grade 2 you can use a variety of different recorders. Later on you must use more than one recorder within your exam. So either route could be interesting and change things quite dramatically. I might learn via the ABRSM one until I can get more recorders. I only have a descant and treble right now but a tenor or a bass one would be pretty damned awesome.

I just think since I am putting quite a bit of effort in now it would be nice to carry it on with other pieces and maybe keep it open as an option for future shows.

 

I have a few projecty type ideas going on too. Something that isn't just music copying. I mean I'll have that for a while yet, quite possibly for a few years, but it would be nice to have things outside that. I want to get back to composition work. I always find it hard to motivate myself when I don't have an end goal. There will be no mark at the end and no teacher to guide me in my ideas. I would ask my friends to give me feedback but I'm always 100% nervous of everything that they might think ever and maybe they'll hate it and think I'm stupid. So... I'm not paranoid at all about that :P. I mostly just need to get to it and do things. Jump off the board and see what's at the bottom. I have half considered composing for the next couple of years and then maybe doing a masters in composition and dissertation but all of that is scary and I don't even know if I can still compose anymore.

I have some early saplings of beginnings of ideas. I'm trying not to rush them too much, because I tend to get caught up in the ideas for a week or so and then they leave. Part of the issue there though, is that the one main one I have in my mind currently will take a lot of prep work before actual composition so I don't know if it will get anywhere. Would be epicly good though if it did.

The other side of that is that I need to get some research in. My dissertation work would be within the realms of video game music but I still have no angle. No interesting theme or question to solve. I most just want to analyse. I enjoy looking at how themes have progressed over time or how the music from one game differs to another from its series but is still the same thoughts even if the composers are different and none of the notes are the same. I like looking at how they've developed a piece of music that originated on 8 bit into a full orchestral theme.I like listening to how they've made the music fit to what's happening on the screen. How they've used things in an interesting manner. It's the kind of stuff I want to compose. Music with a purpose, with recurring themes but also ambiance that, without the game or the image, might make little sense other than it is a series of rhythms and notes. I mean I don't need to do post-grad work to do any of that, I can just do it for fun, but it would be nice.

 

I've been enjoying the weather recently. It's a bit greyer at the moment but it's still very warm for me and it's nice. I like not having to wrap up in stupid amounts of layers just to feel almost human, rather than ice. It was even better when it was actual sunshine but then it was too hot in the kitchen and so work was kinda hellish.

One of my main issues with all the things I want to do; they all cost so much money! Ok some don't cost a great deal but if I'm to learn recorder better I need music and music costs money. Post-grad? That's a whole lotta money. That's part of the problem. I can't justify some of it moneywise and until I am in a comfortable enough position then I won't be able to. The recorder music I can acquire over time and it won't be very much which is good but I would certainly have to wait if I wanted to buy another recorder. We may be able to say "money doesn't matter" but it is required to do pretty much anything in life, and if you want to do a lot of things you need to acquire a lot of money. I know that this leads to the concept that I need another/different job that gives me more money but that's easier said than done. I'll have to do a blanket of CVs and kick start all of that all over again. It's a bit demoralising but needs to be done if I want more money and thus more freedom!

 

However I can enjoy reading and listening to music for free because I have so many books and unlistened to tracks (and failing that I still have dvds I haven't finished and games I haven't played) so I can do that whilst I save my money for awesome things. I'm meant to be saving and have £1k in savings by the end of the year but it does not look like that is going to happen. I just enjoy shopping too much...  If I'm to hit target starting next payment month I need to save £141 from each £250/300 payment I get... so I don't really see that happening at all. It's not including any birthday or christmas money that I might get. It is possible though. It's not like I actually do much, I just like shopping too much :P but I'm sure I can survive on £100 a month. I don't have rent or bills to pay. I just need to pay for travelling and food when I'm not at home... yeaaaaaaaaaah.

 

I've been trying to be more active. More exercise and things. It's difficult though because I am lazy and exercise is effort. I need somewhere where I can go dancing or something. Or maybe hathayoga. I never know where you can go for these things and then I get scared because I'll be going by myself and I won't know anyone and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH scrry biscuits! I think I would really enjoy yoga though. All stretches and things but still activey. I want to do one with a bit of movement although I have heard that it is very soothing to do in general and that would be nice. Stress relief and all that. But also feeling good about myself and getting endorphins and things. It would be all very good. Just need to motivate myself do go do! I'm getting there...

 

I'm also a lot happier currently than I have been in a long time. It's a nice feeling. Although sleeping still isn't working and now I'm cutting out my snacking habits so it might fall somewhat there. But let's work on the positives rather than the negatives! There should be no room made for negatives. Realisticness yes, unrequired negativity does not need to be in my presence. I like being happy.

There are some bads. There are some sads. But they will not overcome me. By the power of greyskull and all that nonsense. I'm just a bit optimistic today is all.

Hopefully next time I write it'll be at least a little bit of a picture round :)

All of the loves, Buttercup

xxxxxxxxxxxx

So save your scissors, for someone else's skin

So, my new carpet comes today. I've had the carpet I currently own all my life and it is really past it. It was probably past it when I was about 15 (being a budding artist from a very early age and a klutz with chocolate milkshake took its toll over the years). I would like it to be here now. I would like everything in my room to be fitted and sorted so I can put my cds and books back in. That's actually the bit I look forward to the most. Reorganising my books and cds. It's silly but I enjoy it.

Something else I enjoy is buying treats for my ratties. I had to go out and buy some more food and I bought a little pot of popcorn, dried banana and dried kiwi fruit for them. Also a woven grass mat for them to snuggle on and chew. It's just nice buying things for them. I'm so glad I have them because they help me through a lot. If shit is hitting the proverbial then I know that just chatting to them will calm me down in that short period before my drugs make everything easier. I'm not sure if they like the kiwi though, they've never had it before so it's a little bit strange for them. I might give them some chocolate in a bit :3

In other news I've completed a secret project. Oooooooh. It's going to stay partially secret for a while though still. But I enjoy making little projects. If they are small then they are easier to complete :). Got another couple in my mind so I'll try and complete those soon and report back with pictures and everything :D

I've been reading a lot. I've read 16 books so far this year, which is pretty good going for me as I am not a quick reader anymore. I can't read when there is talking going on or the tv is on. It's too hard to concentrate on the words. But 16 is pretty good going, almost 3 a month. My percentage is of books that I've read of all my books is 57.4% which is terrible! I need to read more books than I buy :D. Hopefully I'll read loads over summer and get though a nice batch of stories and then I can buy more books without feeling a tiny bit guilty at having not read the ones I already own. Really the appropriate percentage is 80% read so I'm quite a bit off... almost 100 books off. So it'll be a couple of years before I get there but I'd like to get to 65% by the end of this year, maybe even 70%! That would be good.

Oh apparently even though the carpet should come today it won't be layed until the weekend. I'm hideously disappointed now. I was looking forward to putting quite a few things into my room finally. I can't help but be a little bit disappointed. Also when my room is done I'm getting a little bamboo plant :D well three sticks of bamboo in water. They grow like that though. I'm well excited. I might even be able to not kill it :p

Love y'all

Buttercup

xxxxx