Cat, cat where have you been?

 I've been to the castle to look at the Queen.

So a family friend who is totally into G&S operettas suggested that I had a listen to Merrie England (by Edward German and Basil Hood (yes I put the composer first!)). I remembered seeing a couple of vocal scores for it at the local second hand bookshop so after work I pootled along and picked up a very lovely condition copy for not very much money.

I then downloaded Spotify (again, not sure why it wasn't on my computer... it used to be). and proceeded to listen to the first version I found.

I'm highly confused.

Firstly by the plot. I have no idea what happens. There's love, I know that much, and someone that people don't like and Queen Elizabeth and a lot of singing about Robin Hood for a while. I guess it doesn't help that there was no libretto in the recording but the songs didn't make a lot of sense either.

I also spent most of the time being confused because it isn't Sullivan. I didn't realise how set Sullivan is in his composition. You hear G&S and generally you can tell it's that. Yup there's another one! Off it goes being what it is. This is similar, there's the solo lines, the chorus, the orchestra. The four part harmony in chorus. But it's weird. The tunes don't quite follow the same patterns, the harmony goes in slightly different directions, the chords and key changes are just... strange when all you are used to is G&S (and very much from the music aspect of life).

By the end I was bobbing along because the refrain of "hey Robin, jolly, jolly Robin" is bloody catchy.

One really interesting thing I noted was that often it wasn't the higher line that was optional but a lower line. Sullivan liked to give the option of higher notes for soloists (especially the soprano lines) but often they would be little notes as an option but if you can't do them, hey it's ok, we aren't judging you (yes we are) they were just optional. In here there are a lot of high notes for not just soloists but chorus too! One solo line (optional this time and a cadenza part either vocally done or played by clarinet, in the recording it was sung) went upto a top Eb! (I think the technical term is Eb6 but it's three ledger lines above the stave) and although a fleeting passage and an optional one at that I was impressed that it was there to begin with. That's very very high stuff!

I would quite like to see Merrie England performed now actually, to see if any of it makes more sense than the rather fuzzy crackly recording that I could get (with a few cuts in which meant that the madrigal (and yes there is a madrigal) didn't have the verse with nonny nonny in it which was a shame) and see if the lib makes sense and if it is funny. That's the thing: they are comic operas. I would usually term them operettas due to the use of libretto and not singing start to finish but at the front of the score states "A new and original comic opera". And thus it should be at least amusing. Or that you can see how people might have found it funny way back when because some of the jokes don't really make sense now, depending on how you play it.

That's another point. Some people take these things far far FAR too seriously. They are comedies. Sure they have sad bits where you shouldn't laugh because the person is heartbroken or whatever and that is the sad part of the show but there is always the twist of the story at the end. The comedic parts (normally baritone) who lighten the mood. The minor interjections of asides that the cast aren't privy to but the audience can see all that is going on making the scenario all the sillier. And yet people sometimes believe that you should sit in silence and applaud at the right moment at the end of a song for an appropriate length of time. My god you must live a boring life! It would be like going to see Billy Connolly and clapping at the end of a long joke to show that you approve of what has just happened. Imagine not laughing! This is the first modern equivalent that I could come up with but I guess it works.
I have to admit I don't always get the jokes but if you have a good enough cast then you can normally laugh because you see their reactions to all of it so you know it was rude or whatever. And thus you laugh because their character is insulted by the whole thing.

I must admit I am yet to see the funny side of Merrie England but then like I said I didn't really understand a great deal of what was going on. Staging does help.

I would like to listen to some more of these things I think. Not just G&S but I do believe that out of all of them it is G&S I will return to most, and in particular the S part. What can I say, I am music driven and thus when it comes down to it I will be a Sullivanite over a Gilbertian, but often one goes in hand with the other better than without the other. I wonder what it is I like about their shows though. Maybe it's just because I've been in them and not others. Who knows.

I should really get back to editing Patience though... it needs to be done.

Go listen to something different, you might surprise yourself,

loves,

Buttercup xxxxx

Come on then stars, you showy little fuckers, perforate the dark I dare you.

So last night I saw Sharks Took The Rest for, I don't know, the millionth time and I'll tell you what, it really only gets better because one, you know all the lyrics to the album tracks even when you don't realise it and two, when they play new songs it's awesome because then you know there is something new to learn over time (and hope for in a new release). Live music is the best. Currently in the band they have some of Matt Stalker and the Fables helping out and damn is Matt good on the high harmony notes! I keep forgetting this as a thing because I only saw them once (at a STTR single release gig) but he's very good. Funny moment of the night was when the microphone cable fell out of the mic and he had no sound.

Anyway point is good gig was good and I love live music.

Catch up time:

I was in a show. I had a role in a show. I didn't mess up any of my lib (all three lines every night!) and even the singing was fine (even a little bit of quintet goodness worked out in the end). Ultimately I totally rocked it and feel rather confident now. You know that whole "wait... you mean I could actually do it if I tried hard enough/was given the opportunity/didn't really suck at auditions?" yeah that. In fact I'm still feeling rather cocky about it after so many compliments :D I totally want to try at more... even though I do most years... oh little diva stage buzz! Anyway it was awesome because it was The Grand Duke and that's a fabulous show and I was totally knackered every night after it.

I was in another show. The next week. I'll tell you what, the only bit that makes two shows in two weeks crap is that the omgweneedtorehearse stage of the second show overlaps the performance of the first and makes things stressful and difficult. However after a lot of indecision Princess Ida definitely grew on me by performance time (mostly because I got to be angry for 2/3rds of the show and that was a nice change to dense bimbo that seems to be most of the female choruses in G&S).

I didn't get a job. Got the interview though and totally did well at that so I feel ok about the whole thing because confidence is my main issue in life.

I went on an adventure with Tarq. I had been rather ill and one day I asked (in whispers because that's all my voice would allow) if we could go on an adventure.

"what, today?"

"nope, I have work. Tomorrow?"

"ok"

 And that was that. I didn't mind too much where we went, I just wanted to go somewhere slightly different. Really anywhere would suffice. He is excellent at confusing me though and kept pretending to turn off and in fact took the junction back onto the road we'd just come off. It was ridiculous but very fun. Anyway we ended up in Whitby. I don't remember ever going to Whitby before and so it was really nice as a surprise (I totally expected somewhere closer to home than that!) and the weather was really nice. There was lots of fun but especially an awesome red top hat that if it is still there when I go back at some point and I have money I shall buy it because it was amazing! And also lots of interesting shops and views and there was the sea! I love the sea :D I love adventure times. I love Tarq.

Not much else has happened. I've eaten a lot of chocolate today which is both awesome and a terrible idea. Actually I love confectionery a lot. Too much really but it gives me lots of buzzy energy and tastes really good. So really that's ok then :)

There are many things that I'm considering in life. Confectionery, ludomusicology, G&S, recorders... I have always had an issue that I consider too many things at once. I tend towards Jack of all trades rather than particularly good at one thing. I see things on stalls and think "I could make that" or hear a thing and think "I could make something sound like that, or do a similar thing" but aside from being rather useful in making me not spend my money I'm actually not very good at following through. I couldn't even tell you if I was any good at the actual thing or not because I don't get far enough. It's highly bothersome.

I also don't know where I'm going in life. I want to do something awesome but I don't know what. It's that showy little part of me, the diva inside, that knows that I'm not really good enough but could be at least ok maybe, if I tried or even let myself be.

I think once I've finished all the scores that I need to do then I'll find I have a lot more time and a lot fewer things to do and I won't know what to do with myself because then I have to actually be an adult and not the wannabe student that I am. Everything is procrastination and once I run out of procrastinationing I don't know what I'll do!

I also would really like to get back into ludomusicology (game music). There's even a conference in April (which is actually a bit doable because it's in Easter holidays for me!) but then I think it's just me being silly and that I should grow up and you know the real world isn't about doing things like that and all that malarky. I don't know who tells people these things but I guess I'm a bit jaded. I love dreaming but know that it's just a dream and nothing else. But I would like to do more with it because I enjoy analysis, I probably can't do it very well anymore and I don't know any of the right terms, but I do enjoy doing it and video game music analysis is just more interesting to me. You can take the entire soundtrack and find things that link from one to the next or find reasons why this bit of music happens here. Not just "oh the forte here is dramatic for dramaticsake or just to add tension or whatever" but "the forte here links with the image happening on the screen and that makes everything EPIC". I like the links rather than just music by itself. The whole art form rather than just one bit. But whenever I think about it I don't feel smart enough. I don't feel like I could ever be good enough to do any of that and that if anyone read it they'd laugh at me and then kick my whilst I'm down or something.

I waste so much time worrying than actually doing that it's ridiculous. 

Anyone fancy giving me some direction?

Please?

Waiting hopefully,

Buttercup xxxxxxxxx

Take a load off Annie, take a load for free, take a load off Annie, and you can put the load right on me

So I haven't posted since last year and I've been very lax in the whole idea of blogging. It's that wonder as to whether people read your blogs and whether or not they read simply because they feel they have to or whether they actually enjoy it or not. I tend to ramble and squirrel- yeah I get off topic quite a bit but meh! I shall post as I see fit.

Quite a lot and not much has happened all at once. So I'll just tell you some things of things.

I finally finished one score that I was doing and now I'm over half way through the next one. It's a bit ridiculous how much I'm doing on these scores. With the time I use on them I could totally have a full time job with actual wages and stuff... Two part time jobs isn't really enough to do anything with. But better than nothing so I'm not complaining too much :)

This second score feels so much shorter it's like there's no music at all. Five pages later and BAM! another song done :D It's a very nice feeling, instead of TGD which was a slog and a half and I think my average speed dropped a few pages an hour which when there is 500-600odd pages to do kind of makes a huge difference. However that one is done and now I'm just slogging away with the poor quality editing that is Kalmus. Three pages, three pages!, in and I was already annoyed. Trumpet is in the wrong place, pizzicato markings unresolved, key signatures that are wrong. Oh well, that is the joy that is Kalmus!

I started a thing this year. I saw it one... someones facebook feed and thought, hey why not. Kinda cute, little bit ridiculous and a pinch of stupid but I'm quite enjoying it so far. I bought a glass jar (actually it;s a really nice metal lock jam jar from Wilko's and is rather bon, I have one for the damage counters for Pokemon) and I write a nice thing on it that made me smile with the date and the fold it up and put it inside. It makes me happy how much there is already in it. It's instead of resolutions. I don't stick to them. So instead I'm lettingm yself know what an awesome year I had (by the end of it) so I can look back and go "oh yeah, I remember that now, that was awesome". 

I nicked that image off weheartit but it's the concept of what I am doing. I'll see how far I get. Who knows I might actually stick with it for the whole year! However I did start the first few with 2012 written on them. That was amusing :D

I saw another thing that was an interesting concept. Instead of explaining I'll put the link here: linkylink

I really like it as a concept but currently I don't have the money to do it properly. I mean I considered doing it with 50p intervals instead of £1 ones (so the last week is 26 rather than 52) but that is still impractical with my income. It would be awesome though because even with only saving the 50p version you'd still have a jar with £689 in it at the end of the year. That's a whole lotta cash in one go! Maybe if I get a third/better job :D it would be another jar with nice smiley things in it!

However I would always be tempted to take out a pound here or there (or several) for you know, the bus fare or so I can go out and I totally promise I'll replace it when I have the change in my purse honest! But it'll never get replaced and I'll just end up spending more money than normal because it would be there, in a jar, in front of me, grinning and waving its little hands at me! Goddamn money!

Another thing I've been doing this year is I'm taking Wednesday's off. This may change over the course of the year but I discovered I didn't actually have any me time. I was losing myself in scores and rehearsals and travelling here, there and everywhere but I wasn't getting anymore enjoyment out of it because I was tired and grumpy and didn't want to. Currently I have Monday's and Wednesday's where I don't go out and rehearse or have particular plans. It's nice for a change. Ok so I still copy up scores and stuff but I can also do other things. I've started doing Project Wednesdays where I try to do a thing just for me. Or for learning. Or just for the Kraken. It's for doing nice things like making caramel or cinder toffee or fixing that bag or drawing this thing or that thing or writing or even just chilling out with a book. I'm intending to stay saner and more chilled. By the way, cinder toffee is kinda hard to do (I think the recipe is wrong) and caramel is awesome and easy to make but it seems to disappear so maybe I made magic caramel that walks away... it's apparently really good though :D

I'm attempting to challenge myself, to do things. It may only last a couple of months but that's a couple more than none :D However I'm now going to curl up in bed with my DS and continue with Harvest Moon DS:Cute (called that because it's the version for girls! You can change your clothes and wallpaper and stuff!). I absolutely love Harvest Moon (the original FarmVille) and I get really addicted to it. I'm attempting to get all the Harvest Sprites and rescue the Harvest Goddess and have at least one of each building, one of each animal and have shipped one of everything, own one of each item and so on. I'm going for completionist on this. I mean I'll probably get to the stage of having cows and sheeps and get bored and want something new :P

I'm a brunette in this but I just love that cover art! My cat is Cifa (because Cifa cat!), dog is Rufus, pony is Epona and I currently have eight chickens (all with different names including Trubbs a tribute to Trouble but that was too long for the system).

Anyway, loves to all!

Liffy xxxxxxxxx

I will ride, I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky

I don't really remember how much time has passed since my last blog. It says the last post was 25th June but that doesn't mean an awful lot in real money to me. I have a few milestones but they all seem to happen in one lump at the start of August and really nothing happened in July.

• My books acquired mould again, very much against what I had hoped but that is the way life is. I still don't have my primary bookshelves anymore, which makes my room look bigger but sader because books are lovely! It chose to occur when no-one was at home except for me (of course) and so that was hella stressface all over!
• Printing orchestral scores is a pain in the arse and highly stressful too. I don't recommend it to anyone (unless you are a professional printer or you enjoy inducing stress in your life, in which case by all means and do you fancy doing mine in the future?). However the scores looked pretty good even with the few hiccups that occurred, but we'll know better for next time :D
• Putting one half of my first pet to sleep. This was very much the most traumatic and it was worse because parents weren't home to deal with such issues (so I made Jonaface deal with the vets for me) and Tarq was in all day rehearsals which he couldn't miss. Her sister is still with me but I worry that she's going to get les mis (because rattybums do so). I still love her to pieces though.
• Iolanthe. After all that stress and sad the show was pretty good. I'm still apprehensive about it but mostly because I just wish I could do better. However I have been told that it sounded and looked fabulous so that's all that really matters :D that and everyone seemed to have a fantastic time! In fact I'm going to elaborate a little on Iolanthe thoughts right here and now but in a haphazard sort of way :P

Score carrying, constant rechecking, front seat, Panda driving, Les Miserables belting and half casting, over the mountain, through little villages, remeeting and new meeting, little cottage, spiral staircases, lots of talking, fun times and laughing, expensive taxi, cosy bedding, early morning, detour breakfast (not open, back to tescos), flute and piccolo playing, photo taking, wrists breaking, parent meeting, performance time, new dress (very exciting), avoiding anyone in white, pretty sure lunch was somewhere, showtime starting, not bad overture, photos midperformance, MD missing, 2nd act, applause, packing up, get out quick, dump stuff, Panda, pubtime talking, soup snack eating, chinese foodles, tastynom, travel back home with acquired Annak, sleep times again, lazy start, dreams are shattered and ice cream is dust, dreams reborn, TINY TRAIN, sweetie shop, breakfast time, 14 rolls and 16 rolls, old books and dice, new books and maps, Penistone and being sworn at by locals, tiredout, home time.

• Started second job, it was pretty good and easy enough (we were on a quiet bar that served the boxes so there was minimal customer contact). Hoping to get many more shifts but certainly don't have enough hours to move out yet >:( it is all of the rubbish.

Those are all the things that I think I have done of note recently. I haven't really been up to much, taking a break from G&S because MY GOD too much in one week much! Although I do miss G&S uni group and it's weekly rehearsals and seeing those people and I miss G&S second group (I don't remember if I gave names anywhere but I try not to use any names ever in anything because I enjoy it :P) and the people there, I will be very much glad when it all starts up again even though that means stresstastic times for me as I have two scores currently in progress and another two that may or may not make an appearance (one my brother is dealing with... aaaat some point and the other isn't confirmed yet). This whole G&S malarky seems to take over lives and I swore I wouldn't let it happen but it has and I'm not 100% complaining :P not yet anyway!

Last night I was lying in bed and my brain was composing. I was writing music and I thought to myself, should I get up (even though I've already gone to bed and am starting to go to sleep) and write and write and write (or possibly sit in front of a computer screen and curse my inability to create the things that are in my head even though they are there and waiting) or sleep at a decent time (like I have been for quite a few nights now) and hope that inspiration does not desert me. I chose the latter and inspiration did indeed desert me like a stealthy thing in the night. WHICH IS A MAJOR BOTHER! *mental salute to Maj. B* I am forever losing these moments and yes I should have just got out of bed and hoped that I wasn't still working on things until 4am but I didn't and blah!

It was after watching Brave (which, by the way, made me cry more than once because I am a sap and Pixar are just too good at everything) and the whole folky music style thing which I've been wanting to do for ages because I've been contemplating writing music with a purpose but haven't quite got round to doing anything about it. Maybe I should do some concept arts on the matter and make an immersive world and scenes and stuff and compose to that but anyway, it got me totally wired and thinking about stuff that I wanted and I was getting little riffs and instrumentation and linking phrases from one to the other and it was awesome and now it's all gone (verysadface).

Brave reminded me that I wanted to learn Gaelic (technically I wanted to learn Irish Gaelic because I love Clannad's music but Scottish Gaelic would be just as fun). Actually one thing I didn't quite get was the ages of people when they were young. Those three tiny boys, I have no idea how old they are meant to be but they seem older than their stature would make you presume. They are brilliant though. The whole thing is wonderful and I'm so glad that they made it.

I'm also hella glad that I've ordered the ost already so that when it arrives I can listen to it and hopefully be inspired. I'll have to work fast on concept arts and things for what I want to do although whether I can get everything done in time is another matter.

I also want to try and plan another NaNoWriMo but I don't know if I can, at least not in time for this November, but it's always worth trying, if I don't start now then November will be here and then it will be too late to plan for this one but too early to pressure me into planning for the next one. I'm just not sure where or when I want to set. I mean I never specify in any of my stories on that matter but is it a dystopian future, a rural past, a parallel to our own time? This planetesque? Outer spaceesque? I have a few, really I should work on L'u and Dust but I worry it's too similar to other stories I know but since I'm never going to publish it does it really matter? I worry I don't have enough to get me going but then even though I planned Snow for about 3 years I didn't know a lot about the story until I started NaNo. Will I jsut end up recycling characters too much? Will I always have an emphasis on music even accidentally that it bores people?

I should really finish Snow. I mean it has beginning, middle and end but somewhere in the middle it got to the bit that I couldn't be bothered to write out fully and so I did it in note form. I mean I still hit 50k in the month but it's not a complete novel currently and it's been a couple of years since I tackled it so I might be ok delving back into it. I should also look at what material I can salvage from previous writings, I have so many snippets, mostly from the same type of universe, that I should try and bring, at least the ideas from, together. I don't want to be a writer, many of my friends either do or have gone through that as an idea, but I don't want to be a writer at all. I don't really want to have a job that relies too much on a constant stream of creativity. I just want to get ideas flowing, concepts brewing, world creating!

I'm just finishing the fourth (and final?) book in an excellent "twilight" series:

I was rather surprised 1. with the fact that for once Blogger has let me place the covers in the correct order with minimal fuss (comparatively) and 2. that this Russian series has a lot more to offer than the first film shows. If I remember correctly the first film is actually the first third of The Night Watch (the book) (although I was aware of something that happened in The Day Watch (book) that I think happens in TNW (film) which kinda confused me). It is certainly an interesting series and ok, yes, yet again we have magicians, witches, vampires and werewolves (and others) but it seems to be covered in a thick dusty layer of realistic grey and brown (like so many computer games these days that are known as "gritty realism"). However this does not detract from it (actually it is very much more grey than brown based on the twilight levels but that is something that should be read about and not spoilerised) and certainly takes away all this Disneyfication that fantasy has taken to doing currently (I'm thinking Harry Potter, Twilight and all that spawned after it). Although yes those books are for children/YA but this (whilst only found in the sci-fi/fantasy section in book shops, well away from YA/kids etc.) isn't exactly difficult to read and could have gone down the whole vampires are misunderstood/evil route but kind of sits in the middle of vampires are just vampires like people are just people. Not everyone is "evil" even if they are Dark and not everyone is "good" even if they are Light. It doesn't do a whole lot of moral stories though, just that people (or in this case Others) are just as unfortunate and messed up as everyone else. They are branded as one type or another but means about as much as the branding of a football team in the reality of everything. It's very good and the covers are excellent, imo.

I only had the first and the last to begin with. I had picked up the first I think new from Waterstones or somewhere, probably in a sale or in a special offer, because it was pristine and it is unlikely that you get those from secondhands. The last was a charity shop buy (Oxfam if I remember correctly but that might be a fabrication). When I started on the first and discovered that I was enjoying it I jumped straight onto amazon.co.uk and bought the next one (and then the third even though it would have made more sense to buy both at the same time but I'm trying really, really, really hard not to buy new books currently so though it best to wait and see on the matter and it came almost just in time for me to start reading after finishing the second book). One of the most interesting things about it though is less on the stories (which are good) and the writing (which is also very nice) but that when it mentions a thing that occurred in another book there is an asterisk and a note telling you where this information comes from. It happens not too often that you want to hit either the author, or the translator, or the publisher for allowing it to be on the page, but just often enough that it jogs memories when things are mentioned. My favourite one (and so far has only happened once and I'm half way through the second story of book 4) is on page 78 of The Last Watch:

"This story is told in the movies Night Watch and Day Watch."

I was amused :3

I've probably wittered enough for now (and maybe the next couple of months or so :P) and I want to try and finish this book tonight because things are getting intense and it's exciting! Maybe next time a little less rambly and a few more pictures? Although my blogs are nearly always more a higher ramble to picture ratio, I think it's just the way I am (and I use this as a omg-all-of-my-brain-be-out-on-this-digitalised-form-of-paper).

Love and fluffythings,

Buttercup xxxxxxxxx

I must be ahundred and nine, burning, burning, burning.

So... I'm having difficulty working out how to word all of this brainmush that's leaking out all over this metaphorical page. It's being a little impossible so I guess today we'll have to cope with my sporadic thoughts. There's just a bit more going on in there than usual.

First of all I've just finished an hour or so practising for the G&S summer show. There are some pretty tricky moments in a few of the pieces but there is one piece that is somewhat troubling me more than most and that's a piece from Floradora called "Tell Me Pretty Maiden" (not a G&S piece in case you were wondering and don't already know). In theory it's not that difficult. The issue is that it is on treble recorder and this is not an instrument that I am familiar with playing, certainly not before starting this piece. From what I can estimate using my knowledge of grade music for flute this is about grade 5 or 6 (guesstimation) which isn't bad going for someone who didn't know the fingerings for any notes until recently.

I mean it's obviously somewhat easier with the fact that I can already read music and I have a vague idea of how descant recorder works but the notes are all in the wrong place! It's so confusing >.< However I have been thinking, and it is a rather lovely instrument to play, that maybe I should learn some actual graded music. Not pass any grades because that's expensive and I would probably need a teacher and stuff, but just know the equivalent grade that I would be. Learn the scales, the music, maybe even buy some sight reading test books that instrument teachers seem to own, just to know the standard of that. I don't really need to go through the aural tests, I've done those to grade 8 flute.

I just think it would be nice to see how well I can do with it as an instrument. The main issue comes under which board I follow. Now most people would think that this only matters if you're actually taking the tests but if I follow ABRSM which is the standard in most schools, then I can just learn treble and everything is good. But if I follow The Royal Conservatory Of Music then for grade 1 I need to learn either descant or tenor and by grade 2 you can use a variety of different recorders. Later on you must use more than one recorder within your exam. So either route could be interesting and change things quite dramatically. I might learn via the ABRSM one until I can get more recorders. I only have a descant and treble right now but a tenor or a bass one would be pretty damned awesome.

I just think since I am putting quite a bit of effort in now it would be nice to carry it on with other pieces and maybe keep it open as an option for future shows.

 

I have a few projecty type ideas going on too. Something that isn't just music copying. I mean I'll have that for a while yet, quite possibly for a few years, but it would be nice to have things outside that. I want to get back to composition work. I always find it hard to motivate myself when I don't have an end goal. There will be no mark at the end and no teacher to guide me in my ideas. I would ask my friends to give me feedback but I'm always 100% nervous of everything that they might think ever and maybe they'll hate it and think I'm stupid. So... I'm not paranoid at all about that :P. I mostly just need to get to it and do things. Jump off the board and see what's at the bottom. I have half considered composing for the next couple of years and then maybe doing a masters in composition and dissertation but all of that is scary and I don't even know if I can still compose anymore.

I have some early saplings of beginnings of ideas. I'm trying not to rush them too much, because I tend to get caught up in the ideas for a week or so and then they leave. Part of the issue there though, is that the one main one I have in my mind currently will take a lot of prep work before actual composition so I don't know if it will get anywhere. Would be epicly good though if it did.

The other side of that is that I need to get some research in. My dissertation work would be within the realms of video game music but I still have no angle. No interesting theme or question to solve. I most just want to analyse. I enjoy looking at how themes have progressed over time or how the music from one game differs to another from its series but is still the same thoughts even if the composers are different and none of the notes are the same. I like looking at how they've developed a piece of music that originated on 8 bit into a full orchestral theme.I like listening to how they've made the music fit to what's happening on the screen. How they've used things in an interesting manner. It's the kind of stuff I want to compose. Music with a purpose, with recurring themes but also ambiance that, without the game or the image, might make little sense other than it is a series of rhythms and notes. I mean I don't need to do post-grad work to do any of that, I can just do it for fun, but it would be nice.

 

I've been enjoying the weather recently. It's a bit greyer at the moment but it's still very warm for me and it's nice. I like not having to wrap up in stupid amounts of layers just to feel almost human, rather than ice. It was even better when it was actual sunshine but then it was too hot in the kitchen and so work was kinda hellish.

One of my main issues with all the things I want to do; they all cost so much money! Ok some don't cost a great deal but if I'm to learn recorder better I need music and music costs money. Post-grad? That's a whole lotta money. That's part of the problem. I can't justify some of it moneywise and until I am in a comfortable enough position then I won't be able to. The recorder music I can acquire over time and it won't be very much which is good but I would certainly have to wait if I wanted to buy another recorder. We may be able to say "money doesn't matter" but it is required to do pretty much anything in life, and if you want to do a lot of things you need to acquire a lot of money. I know that this leads to the concept that I need another/different job that gives me more money but that's easier said than done. I'll have to do a blanket of CVs and kick start all of that all over again. It's a bit demoralising but needs to be done if I want more money and thus more freedom!

 

However I can enjoy reading and listening to music for free because I have so many books and unlistened to tracks (and failing that I still have dvds I haven't finished and games I haven't played) so I can do that whilst I save my money for awesome things. I'm meant to be saving and have £1k in savings by the end of the year but it does not look like that is going to happen. I just enjoy shopping too much...  If I'm to hit target starting next payment month I need to save £141 from each £250/300 payment I get... so I don't really see that happening at all. It's not including any birthday or christmas money that I might get. It is possible though. It's not like I actually do much, I just like shopping too much :P but I'm sure I can survive on £100 a month. I don't have rent or bills to pay. I just need to pay for travelling and food when I'm not at home... yeaaaaaaaaaah.

 

I've been trying to be more active. More exercise and things. It's difficult though because I am lazy and exercise is effort. I need somewhere where I can go dancing or something. Or maybe hathayoga. I never know where you can go for these things and then I get scared because I'll be going by myself and I won't know anyone and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH scrry biscuits! I think I would really enjoy yoga though. All stretches and things but still activey. I want to do one with a bit of movement although I have heard that it is very soothing to do in general and that would be nice. Stress relief and all that. But also feeling good about myself and getting endorphins and things. It would be all very good. Just need to motivate myself do go do! I'm getting there...

 

I'm also a lot happier currently than I have been in a long time. It's a nice feeling. Although sleeping still isn't working and now I'm cutting out my snacking habits so it might fall somewhat there. But let's work on the positives rather than the negatives! There should be no room made for negatives. Realisticness yes, unrequired negativity does not need to be in my presence. I like being happy.

There are some bads. There are some sads. But they will not overcome me. By the power of greyskull and all that nonsense. I'm just a bit optimistic today is all.

Hopefully next time I write it'll be at least a little bit of a picture round :)

All of the loves, Buttercup

xxxxxxxxxxxx

It is easy in elegant diction to call it an innocent fiction.

So I've been pottering around this week, sometimes with purpose and other times just really aimlessly. Some of the things that have been happening (this will probably be a bit bitty as a post but I have a few things on my mind).

Firstly (ooh look and image :D I seem to be mostly just giving walls of text (WoT(TM)) at the moment so here is a piccy (although it is very old from the tail end of my flickr page)) I have started checking what music I have for flute copied into Sibelius and starting to copy up other pieces. I'm mostly focusing on the hard pieces because the easier ones are of little use except for nostalgia or if they're really pretty. I don't know what the piece is that is shown, I don't recognise it but it will have been something that I was doing at the time I took the photo many moons ago.

My main idea is to start playing again. I could have been pretty good at flute and piccolo but I left it at the wayside when flute lessons stopped and thus my attention to it waned. I mean it's starting to come back now that I play flute for some of the summer shows (and the music is pretty hard in places so I should really start practising asap on my hard music) and I can't do all the fast bits. I've never been good at fast pieces, my fingers get all mixed up, especially on piccolo, and I get easily flustered. If something goes wrong I find it hard to keep going.

The reason why I copy into Sib is that I can't work out rhythms by myself. I was never good at sight reading because I can't keep a steady beat. Sib helps in letting me play back a rough idea of what it should sound like. It's only rough because it sometimes doesn't understand grace notes too well and it puts no expression in. Computers, eh?

Another thing I've been doing is making a few bits and pieces for the show I'm in shortly (with Bette, Ralph and Hazy, although Bette and Ralph are also in another one which is sooner). I do love being in shows and I've become better at performing on stage but I still hate acting. I feel like a prat whenever I do anything so I end up standing there looking and feeling awkward. I love the singing though, and when dance moves are set. That's the bit I love the best. The running around looking concerned, excited or flirting? No, ta.

The show itself looks like it's going to be fabulous though. I shouldn't really be in it because I'm alumni but I'm so glad that I am. It's The Pirates of Penzance, which isn't one I've done or seen so that's good but it's also a great laugh. We have two directors, a choreographer and two musical directors which has been useful in some regards but also chaotic in others as everyone does things differently (even if only slightly) and that can cause slight confusion. It's worked out wonderfully though. I might bitch about having to go to rehearsals when I can't be arsed, about not having enough time to do this, that and the other, the amount of rehearsals when the show looms over, having to act, be on stage etc. but I will tell you this now: the three nights of show will never feel like enough and I will miss all of that when the final curtain closes and we all traipse off to get wonderfully pissed and sing G&S songs hideously drunkenly (probably in someone's kitchen somewhere). The people in G&S are wonderful and we always have a laugh in the end. I've made some really good friends over the years and that's really lovely.

There will be a feeling of loss when this show is over (as there always is) which will not be filled until the summer show (although I still have Iolanthe to finish copying up and help arrange, if our MD doesn't mind me giving my opinion in practical regards).

Kind of leading on from there I'm not sure how I feel about my voice. I don't think I have a very good voice at all for singing aside from in huge groups. :WARNING, this is not intended for sympathy/attention I'm just musing here: This issue I have is that my voice sounds weird to me. Like when I play it back or listen intently to it. I that this is standard for people but I find that my voice sounds weak and very much meh. But the weirdest part is that people seem to want me to sing. I know that I will never get a solo in a show (partially because of my non-existent acting skills and the fact that there are about 10 other people who are better than me at everything ever) and I'm really ok with that. I know of some people who would be grumpy if they did not get  role but I'm much happier without focus on me. 

Another thing that I have issues with is that I would like to record some music but then I have to contend with my voice. If I can get a DAW to work then I can go into electronica/pop type music and I can do all sorts of things with my voice and then it doesn't need to be great to begin with. I sometimes wish I was just more confident.

I was singing along to Les Miserables because mama was watching it and, partially didn't help that I was bent over a sewing machine at the time, I think I was kinda out for the whole thing. I can't really hit the highest soprano notes nicely anymore (I really need to practise that kind of thing because I used to be ok at that :/) and aside from some tiny bits everything sounded kinda crap when I was singing. It was kinda les mis making in itself. :(

But enough of the emoiding. I'm being rather introspective at the moment which doesn't help. Discovering things and stuff can be a bit of a boost in some regards and confusing in others, but again that's not for here.

I'm still working and it's going well although G has had to go on sick leave and the woman we have, A, is... different to what we're used to. She's not particularly bad but it's meaning that we're having to teach her the layout of the kitchen and stuff. It's a bother but nothing that isn't copeable with! :D

Not much else to report really, nothing I can think of. I'll take some nice photos over the week and try and put some up so you can see nice things as well as reading some words.

Lemonies, Buttercup xxxxxxxxxx

You don't really know why but you want justify rippin' someone's head off

Some days all I need to do is rant so please excuse me whilst I do such things.

I actually started planning this in my head whilst watching Explosions In The Sky at The Sage a few nights ago (they were fab just my mind tends to wander especially when there are no lyrics to follow - shoegazing instrumental music). There are three things that people do (on a regular basis around me) that really, really bothers me.

1. Litterbugs. It's pretty much my number 1 hate. Ok, remember when I said it was based on things that people do around me? Yeah, that's important to note! Because really genocide and animal cruelty would be higher but I'm not in contact with things like that, not on a regular basis.

I see so many people around here drop litter and cigarette butts. It's just unnecessary. We have bins on most street corners (and in the more urban areas we have them in the middle of streets and part way down and everything). There is absolutely no need to litter at all. Yet they do. I see people litter beside bins. Like they're walking past them and drop litter just past it or before it. Why?! The world is already being destroyed by us. There is tarmac and pollution and general disease that is caused by us and yet, fair enough you can't fix that part easily just being one person, you don't need to add to it by being a troll! It makes me so ragey!

2. Acts of senseless and random violence and destruction.

One night someone walked around the streets where I live and slashed at least one tire on each car they passed. Someone once threw a brick through mama's car window for no reason, I say no reason because nothing was stolen. I've seen cars and motorbikes set on fire during my earlier years. Broken glass in bus shelters, phone boxes and shop windows. The rioting last year. I just don't understand the point.

What is the reasoning behind just breaking things? I get wanting to rip up a bad picture that I've drawn or smashing up a cake that's gone wrong but why break other people's things? It just seems unfair. And especially breaking council property like bus shelters because then they'll complain that there's no money anywhere, well yeah, you are costing them a fortune in repairs.

3. Talking in concerts.

This is mostly why I started thinking about this at a gig. It was a sitting down gig at The Sage. To me, sitting down gigs or concerts mean a certain level of respect, if only because the people around you can't move somewhere else if you are being too noisy. We had this issue at the Evanescence concert. Two men, sitting behind Blue and me talking non-stop. I say talking, this term is loosely applied since I could hear them more than the band. If you want to sit and talk over music, buy the cd (most artists have a live one out if you need to have the atmosphere) and shout in your own home. It'll save you money and my rage.

I'm ok with occasional comments, the "ooh that was a nice bit", "look at him what the hell is he doing?" "this is so awesome" etc. but incessant shouting? STFU.

Tonight I'm feeling annoyed because I want some software to do some music work that isn't the usual Sibelius. I love sib and we get on very well but I'm wanting a DAW (digital audio workstation). I was looking into ProTools because I've used that at uni. Not only is it crazy ass expensive but also requires hardware to run it. I looked into Audacity and Ardour because they are free but Audacity looks like what MSPaint is to Adobe Photoshop and Ardour isn't available for Windows. Mac and Linux yes but Windows no. I'm going to try the FL Studio (formally Fruity Loops) demo but my main issue is that if I do discover that it's awesome I'm going to have to pay about $300 for it and owies that's a lot of money. I'll let you know how I do with the demo though.

On the plus side I've mostly got my midi keyboard working. It is a great little keyboard but I haven't worked out how to use it correctly with Sibelius. Mostly just a volume sensitivity issue which I need to work out how to resolve.

I wonder how people who create electronic based music start out because all this software is expensive and then all the hardware like mics and instruments and mixing desks and stuff is expensive. Then you normally need a Mac of some description because they are better for music (or at least have more software and hardware). So how do you start out? Or do they start out by using the software that is available at school/college/uni and build from there. I wish I had used the studios at uni a lot more than I did. Problem was my best time for working and desire to experiment with things like that is 9pm onwards and that was highly impractical for getting the bus home.

I just want to make nice musics and feeling like I'm hitting a brick wall at every turn.

The worst part is is that for once I had ideas of things I wanted to do. I was feeling generally creative and now it's 11:30 and I need to go to bed soon because I have a G&S rehearsal tomorrow. Great though it is being in G&S it doesn't half suck up my creative time when it's almost showtime. But yes I was feeling creative with two compositional ideas getting really juicy and one other idea that is just popping by but I can't do anything with them because I don't have the soft/hardware. 

I just want to be awesome, but it's so much hard work T_T

Nanight lemonies, Buttercup xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save.

There are a few parts to this blog:
1. General update
2. Minecraft talk leading to scaryness
3. Nail varnish

I thought I would give you this knowledge in case you come across a block of text that you find boring. Everything kind of gets mixed together but that is the best way to split up my writing.


So I'm half way through my third week at work and I'm rather enjoying it. I am knackered every day after just two hours (although the two mile bike ride (one way) can't help towards that either, my poor thighs!) and my back has already started hurting (joy, oh joy, hello slow muscle crawl, hope I didn't miss you at all ¬¬) but we have good laughs.

I went on my first training session yesterday and it was just like being back at school for two hours (everything seems to be twos!) right down to me not knowing any answers... except I did get one but man I felt horribly stupid again. It's that engaging brain to do things... it just doesn't work on demand. I know I'm not that stupid I just can't seem to do very well in those scenarios. Except it was fine and I'll get paid for turning up and it was compulsory so it wasn't bad.

As a slight aside it was about diversity and equality and was actually rather interesting on what you can get called up on, or call people up on. But then got me wondering about identity and ended with some vodka apple to make shush :P

So work is going pretty well. In between work and other such things I am copying up the Iolanthe score for this year's Buxton. This would be fine, if it wasn't so damned long and such a complete arse(!) of a score. There are inconsistencies throughout and there are some pages that haven't been printed properly so you kind of have to make educated guesses on what notes you are meant to put. It's donkey work. It's not really very interesting but you can slave away and it's done without thinking too much. I was attempting to do the whole score in 2 weeks but that would have destroyed me so now I'm just working at it as much as I can.

In between doing that I have rediscovered my love for Minecraft. For such a cheap game (it was £7 for me almost a year ago but it'll be about that now or mebs up to £10) it's quite amazing and you don't have to pay for upgrades (of which there have been numerous). You essentially pay once for an account and you can play for as long as it is running. I love exploring, I love collecting and crafting. Making houses and enjoying the, however "pixellated" it is, the scenary. Notch has been playing with the light settings and wow I was rather impressed actually. I will tell you what I don't like though.

That. I don't like them at all. He is called an Enderman. It's from the Nether, which I haven't yet explored at all so I don't know anything about it. He can pick up blocks and move them (currently he is holding a dirt block). This is fine in itself, although it changes the scenery, so long as you don't make your safe house out of a "moveable" block because then he might let other, more hostile, mobs in, such as zombies and creepers. That is fine. Enderman, move what you like. If you make eye contact he will stare you down. I have only had one experience of this and it was from a safe place where I could hit him repeatedly until he stopped. He will approach you and stare at you. If you break eye contact he will kill you.

Now that's not a very nice way to play that game. He also has either a higher attack than you, a higher health bar than you or both because unless you can kill him before you break eye contact you will, at least nearly always, die (apparently, according to the wikia). Even that isn't too bad. Ok, try not to make eye contact with them, just don't look directly at them, that's plausible.

HE FECKING TELEPORTS.

This I cannot cope with. Unless the level is more than 3 blocks higher than the level he is currently on he can teleport onto it (I'm not sure how far lengthwise though... I saw one teleporting around from a nice high vantage point and it looked like about 30 blocks). I had one of them teleport next to me. What the actual hell? I practically died on the spot (it also didn't help that he was followed in very quick succession by a creeper... or more to the point I was followed). What if they teleport into your viewpoint and you realise too late because you were already turning? Why does it need to do something quite so damned creepy?!

Ok I have a major issue with teleporting things or more accurately, things that move without moving or without you being able to see them move. I was never the wolf in "What's The Time Mr. Wolf", except by force, because it creeped me out. Remember these guys?:

Yup Dr. Who's Weeping Angels. I found that hard to watch because of the "teleportation". I know, it's not quite the same but essentially it had the same idea. It moved without you seeing that it moved. It bothers me a lot. Although, yes they were creepy regardless. I think they were the scariest thing on that show yet (although I haven't watched half of Tennant or any of Smith so there may have been creepier but imo they are the ones that take that crown). (Another aside I just got distracted with a video of 500 miles (The Proclaimers) with the crew and some of the cast of Dr Who dancing along to it. It's quite cute, if only for wor David's grin all the way through).

I'll tell you someone else who creeps me out:

Most of the film (bar one second where it shows rope being pulled out of someone's mouth) I can watch fine. It's not really scary. Samara crawling out of the tv? Fine. Samara suddenly appearing in front of people, after crawling out of the tv, without needing to move? Hell no. Only part I can't watch. Point is, if I can't see it move, it's terrifying.

But enough of horribly creepy things. I should probably go to bed soon. Tomorrow is Friday (yay) which means that I get two days off (yay) before going back to work again on Monday (boo) but it does mean that I get to buy more pokemon cards (yay - it happens every Monday atm to make them better) and also I only have 3 weeks until we break up (yay) which is kinda rubbish because I haven't started Christmas shopping and it's not that long now (boo). I also get to paint my nails tomorrow (yay) because it isn't allowed at work (boo) but it shall be sparkly because I am all about the glitter atm (yay).

Just to share these are the ones I have right now:

Ok maybe I should make my own swatches at some point. Maybe I'll do one over the weekend (it'll be Snow Globe fo' sho' because it's my newest one and I need to try it out).

L-R T-B:

China Glaze: Snow Globe. White holographic sparkles of varying size. As of yet unknown quality.

China Glaze: Fairy Dust (bought to replace my old Miners Photo Finish that is very gloopy, but still works). Holographic glitter. Very nice to apply (probs because it's C.Glaze) and very good coverage.

Rimmel: Disco Ball. Surprisingly it looked exactly the same as one in the Miss Sporty range but I know Rimmel make up (even if Miss Sporty was £1 cheaper). Blue/silver sparkles of varying size. Nice but you need 2-3 coats to get good coverage at all.

Stargazer: 146. I dislike that stargazer have no names. The names are my favourite part :( Red, blue, green and silver glitters (slightly bigger than Fairy Dust). Nice to apply, quick to dry.

Barry M: Red Glitter. I agree with someone else, uninspired name much? It's got great coverage though and is my only non-silver/white based glitter. It's great over a crimson at Christmas.

17: Glitter Top Coat. Kinda uninspired by this one. Similar colour to Snow Globe but glitter instead of sparkles. It does not have great coverage (or it didn't on my toe nail, but they are tiny and it was far away from my face) but it's a nice colour (white holo, thus the purchase of Snow Globe although they might be nice combined).

I would like some different coloured glitters/sparkles/flakes. Actually I don't own any flakes yet but I have seen some and they are nommy. In winter I get all glittery and sparkly and in summer I like matt colours (which reminds me I should pick up a mattifying top coat at some point) in bright neons. I love wearing nail varnish. Love love love! I need to wear it more. I would like to be able to afford more China Glaze, O.P.I and Nails Inc. but they go past my usual budget of £5 max. I need to learn that it's ok to spend more now that I'm not reliant on pocket money :P It's difficult though and I do want ever so many things. And I still have no more room than last time we spoke.

Oh the difficulties in life! Maximum difficulty! D:

Anyway, lemons and fruit salads for all xxxxxxxxxxx

p.s. I'll let you know how my nail varnish turns out, if I remember.

p.p.s. For those who don't know my hair is now fuchsia, I'm still yet to get a good photo though :/

p.p.p.s. I realise I never tell you where my title is from. I would say "is that ok?" but I don't really mind if it isn't. I presume it doesn't really bother you or you google it if it does because really google is fountain of knowledge.

p.p.p.p.s. I know that fountain of knowledge is often a wiki name but really isn't it more a lake of wisdom? Actually I quite like these metaphors :D

p.p.p.p.p.s  Start now not tomorrow. :)
p.p.p.p.p.p.s. None of the images are my own. They were on googles.

Take heart, fair days with shine; take any heart, take mine.

I think it's cloudy outside, possibly even very overcast but the netting at my window makes everything look foggy regardless of the weather. Oh it is actually foggy, fog ^2.

I've felt surprisingly busy this past week even though not much has changed aside from 3 hours of my day are take up with my "catering assistant" job (and travel time). I cycle. It's 2 miles from my house to the school (give or take) and it's downhill. The way back is uphill :(. Over the last week I've done between 25-30 miles on my bike. 

But that's really not that much time but it's surprising how much quicker the days pass me by. I've barely had any time, or so it feels, to do NaNo (and I'm so behind on that I don't see myself ever catching up unless I write 14k today or can manage to write 3k a day from now on). It doesn't help that I'm also copying up almost the entire orchestral score for the Buxton performance this summer (getting an early start on it so it's less of a rush later) and I'm still copying up the second act for Pirates so I can learn it (I learn best by listening to my part over and over again and practising A LOT).

I've done a lot of copying of music into Sibelius over the years and sometimes I really wish I could have something like that as a job. I'm pretty quick at it now. It's tedious though and does mean that for extended periods of time I'm sat in this computer chair concentrating quite hard. I'm not really sure why I offer this service for people but I like to be useful.

I haven't been taking any photos or arting at all, my mind is kind of overwhelmed to even consider that kind of thing, Which is a shame really because I do enjoy arty things. I'll get worse again if I don't keep it up but brain deaaaath~.

I've ordered some new converse that hopefully I'll get over the next week (and hopefully they'll be a size 5 and not 5.5) and I'll show those off to you on here. I also have a set day of the week that I'm going to allow myself to buy pokemon cards because I buy way too many of those really. It's Monday, in case you were wondering, because it gives me something to look forward to after the weekend.

Christmas is coming up fast and I still have Elendil's birthday before that to buy a present for. Where has the year gone? I might go back to gaming for a bit. Playing Warrior's Orochi 2. It's essentially Dynasty Warriors with demons and samurai as well as the standard DW characters. Hack and slash, hack and slaaaash~ Mash X to win. :3

Lemons xxxxxxxxx

To influence a person is to give him one's own soul.

There isn't really much I want at the moment. I'm having a weird phase where I can look at lots of things and think "my those would be nice to have" and then close the tab that they are in. It's a restless sort of mood. I want to buy things but I just don't really care to buy them and then try to find space for them... saying that though I have ordered a ps1 dance mat game and a CD by Noah and the Whale (not the new one just released this week though... their first one). It is a fickle mood but there are a few things at present (mostly non material) that I want.

When will it end?

I, like many others of my generation grouping, have fond memories of pokemon. We played the gameboy games, we watched the cartoon/anime and we collected the cards. Most of these people have grown up now and consider it nothing more than a memory but I kind of still really like pokemon. Granted I am much more intune with the first 251 pokemon than the later releases but I still have some that I like in those later ones (see right: Plusle and Minun... so cute =3). Really the point is is that I would like to complete the first 151 cards... just one of each one, not even of each type (so I wouldn't want a base deck and a jungle version just either or (sorry if this is way over your head for some people... I'll stop my pokenerdery soon I promise!)) I'm only missing about 10 from the 151 set... I would collect up to 251 but I don't have many from the later 100 and I have almost none from the ones after that. It would just be nice... I like collecting things and these at least take up very little space.

 It was the best I could find as a picture!

I'm pretty ill right now. I've had a sore throat (red) for over a week and now have a terrible cough (yellow)... like really bad. I would rather like to be not ill... although a lot of people are ill right now and so I would like everyone to be not ill. A bit like wishing for world peace. I just don't want it to be a throat infection because I don't really want to have to take more medication and also I hate not singing... and if I start singing (like I did last night a bit ¬¬ whoops) then I tend to ruin my voice for a couple of years. Although that cold virus is reeeeeeeeeeeally cute =) They have other viruses on there but I quite like the yogurt and the red blood cell =) TB is also pretty cute as it is bright green. They're wonderful, I would buy lots of them.

www.thinkgeek.com is an amazing site though.

Ok so it has been a lot sunnier recently but I want it to be warm. I'm such a wuss and even though I prefer the colder months because there are no insects it's be a pretty long and cold winter. Fewer illnesses as well =)

Here comes the sun doo de doo de =D

The G&S crew had a karaoke night and Ralph sang that... I only know the one line though... here comes the suuun =D I sang Don't Marry Her by The Beautiful South and slipped in a few cheeky curse words that are in the album version of the song. We all had a cracking evening. I really love karaoke with them. (they are all so much cooler than I am =p).

Question: Where do those really tiny flies come from? The ones that are generally found around computer monitors? The really teeny weeny annoying things... I've never known how they get in my room... they just are there sometimes.

OMG I FINISHED A BOOK!

As you can probably read it was The Picture Of Dorian Gray. I felt rather intellectual reading it. I get that with books that are considered literary classics. It's like... these books have been considered of a high enough caliber to be in a special club and I'm reading one. They're normally too hard for me to read but this one was quite good actually. I had seen the recent film with that pretty male playing Dorian... Ben Barnes. He has a bit of a butt chin going on but he isn't unpleasant to look at.(image below). The book was quite fun to read, the ideas that Sir Henry Wotton brought up were rather interesting to note. As a social discussion it was very interesting. For those not in the know, Dorian Gray starts out life as a very pretty boy who is the muse of Basil Hallward, an artist, and meets HW whilst sitting for a painting. He is very innocent and seems to be charmed by everything around him. HW finds him fascinating and in a discussion very early on he tells Dorian that he is to make the most of his youth and beauty for they will not last long.

On seeing his finished portrait Dorian, in a fit of rage and sorrow, curses it so that it may age and he does not. He bargains his soul for this (kind of unintentionally, mind). The story pretty much tells you of how HW's influence on Dorian and the search for pleasure damages his soul.

All in all it was a very pleasant read and now I am back to reading urban fantasy =p

Something that was amusing was that whilst reading it the language that I was using was rather influenced in a day to day basis. I get that a lot and it amuses me. At one point I was highly overdramatic and saying things like "I am the most miserable today, I do not know how I shall ever cope!" *places hand on forehead and swoons*

=D

4/100... I'm so behind =\

Love you all  Buttercup xxx

Crimson and clover over and over, sing me something that I know, I wanna fall in love tonight.

Another slight gap in my blogging but for good reasons!

Last Wednesday-Saturday I was performing in my G&S show (the Wednesday was a dress rehearsal) and that has made me very tired. The show was really good. There were a few slip ups as there always are in shows but nothing major. On the last night the audience was amazing, laughing at everything and applauding wonderfully, our energy was really high and timings were good. This was quite a feat since a couple of weeks before the show we were a shambles. The Grand Duke was quite a hard choice I think because very few, if any, of us knew the show before this academic year. Doing a show that no one in the cast really knows is quite hard work. Much more learning is needed to be able to perform at any level and there is less enthusiasm in the songs as would be normally.

Really I only started liking the show a few weeks before we performed it and I especially only started loving my bit-part Supernumary role once we were on the stage properly. In fact that was the most fun I have ever had on stage because I was just being me. I was able to be fidgety and silly and that was my role. I will miss that scene now that I love it, but isn't that always the way.

I normally start enjoying the show from much earlier on but this year was harder and I think it was because I knew very little of it. I knew some of the songs from a previous summer show (but not with the same words) but I didn't feel like I had enough to hold onto until late in the proceedings. It was good in the end though and that is always the most important thing. I'm very much looking forward to performing HMS Pinafore in summer as part of the orchestra and as a sailor. It should be good fun.

We had an aftershow party. This was good fun. I got very very very drunk. After I had been given two cherry VKs that I drank simultaneously we proceeded to one of the cast member's house (my grammar is terrible here... sorry). I then had 4 sourz shots. That was the extent of my alcohol intake. I am a lightweight but I was more drunk than I had been in a while and this impaired my judgement. I chose, truly believing this to be the correct decision, to not take my medication that evening. Biggest error ever. I slept for an hour (6am-7am roughly), had my first ever hangover feelings (mostly that I was going to vomit everywhere), continued to be miserable all day and finished it off with breaking down by the end of it. So in conclusion I made the discovery that if I skip my medication for one day I feel really really bad. Worse that I ever remember it feeling. I have had the discussion with people that I don't like not feeling anything, that having all my emotions deadened is horrible and that I wish I didn't have to take these tablets but after that I don't think that way.

There were also almost constant panic attacks. That was pretty nasty too. Genuinely felt broken.

Basic message of this... take your drugs like a good person. Seriously bad times occurred.

I still feel pretty ill but I think that is a different reason. My throat feels heavy. It's probably a cold. ¬¬

Sooo... that was relatively heavy topicings for my usual happy go lucky blog but I believe that it is important to mention things like that. Let's see if I can't brighten it up though.

I still haven't dyed my hair yet... although I am totally all of the tempted to do it tonight.

Jimmy Eat World:Bleed American/Jimmy Eat World

Ok so a new review because it is about time that I did another one. This is possibly my favourite (along with a whole load of other people) by JEW but there is some confusion here. For a while this album was known as Jimmy Eat World and not Bleed American... one minute, wiki! Tell me why! Ok after the 9/11 attacks in America it changed to being JEW instead of BA and then in 2008 when it was rereleased it was reverted back to BA. Complicated I know but I can see their reasoning for changing it in the first place (I have the JEW titling in my collection in case you were wondering). The problem with changing it to JEW is that there was already an album and an ep under that name and it must have been a bit complicated when talking about it. You could mean any of these things and not made any sense. So on my iTunes it's under BA/JEW to cover all bases =D

Just some storyage there for you.

This album is beautiful. Punk pop. Brilliant lyrics. I don't think I have a single track on here that I don't like. It's a brilliant album. I haven't listened to it in a couple of years and I am being reminded of how wonderful JEW are. I might sit and review all their albums (not including their really early stuff because the quality isn't very good =p). I'll have to pick up their latest, 2010 release, at some point.

1. Bleed American/Salt Sweat Sugar: I'm not crazy because I take the right pills everyday

2. A Praise Chorus: (blog title)Where's it going to get you acting serious?

3.The Middle: Live right now / Just be yourself / It doesn't matter if that's good enough for someone else

4. Your House:

5. Sweetness: This sweetness will not be concerned with me

6. Hear You Me: If you were with me tonight / I'd sing to you just one more time

7. If You Don't, Don't: Someday maybe / maybe someday we'll be smarter / I'm sorry that I'm such a mess

8. Get It Faster: I want to do right by you / But I'm finding out cheating gets it faster

9. Cautioners: You'll change your mind come Monday / And turn you back on me / Take your steps away with hesitance / Take your steps away from me

10. The Authority Song: Tell me, I'm not scared anymore / Say anything you want

11. My Sundown: I could be so much more than this / Said my goodbyes // You'll take your time / But no one cares / lovely time, tinsel shine

See... beautiful lyrics. Just go find them on the youtubes and listen to them. Go and research and hear how lovely they are. The words can only give you so much. Hear the music to them. Listening to them now is like falling in love with them all over again.

37/100

There may be another post with more of their albums reviewed =D as it is I'm just going to put this album on shuffle and repeat and enjoy =D

Love from Buttercup xxx