It takes the pain away but could not make you stay. It's way too broke to fix no glue, no bag of tricks

 Just as an edit, I've made it so anyone can post a comment, even if they aren't on blogspot. Just put something so I know who you are otherwise I might get confused... or don't. Just letting any nonblogger readers know that they can comment if they feel so inclined =). Or at least... I think I did... tell me if I didn't do it right please x

So I was cataloguing earlier and I got to the stage where I needed to see the row of books behind the row I was looking at. Shuffled some books around and then got a bothered that some books weren't in quite the right order because they had been acquired later and after pulling out some books discovered a lovely layer of mold (and a spider but that was just there for the fear factor) on quite a few books.

Currently 73 books are in quarantine, and the shelves are empty. I moved all my books out to another room so that people could look at the shelf. It is rather distressing.

I had wondered what I would have done if there was mold on lots of books and it was really really bad. Would I replace them? Would I try to salvage what I could and just look through the discolouration along the page edge? What if all the books were damaged? Could I justify rebuying everything? Would I make sacrifices and just think "well I've already read it and owned it once, should I bother getting it again?"?

One of the books effected was a particularly nice and rather old and lovely copy of "Little Meg's Children" which as far as I can remember involved an older sister trying to care for her siblings when their parents were gone/at war etc.The book was Mama's. It has damage and I still feel pretty bad, even though it wasn't my fault.Worse than damaging my own stuff is finding damage on someone else's stuff that was in my care.

I also wondered what I would do if there was a lot of books damaged and there was a perfect book shaped clear zone where the bible I own is. I wondered on the possible religious things that could occur. Like God was trying to destroy all books but that one? Is he trying to tell me something. As it is the book isn't damaged (any further than a previous spillage of chocolate milkshake on it) but then the majority of my books aren't damaged either. Also that would be a pretty mean way of showing that "he" exists, destroying my books like that. I would be well sad, and a bit impressed... but mostly just disappointed. As it is that is not a question, there was no bible shaped clean zone.

Would have been impressive though.

"Liffy! I am God! Stop buying things you don't have the bedroom space! Srsly mans!"

heheh

I don't know what I think on the whole matter of God or Gods/Goddesses/Jebus etc. I think I am apathetically agnostic but I'm open to ideas *looks up and then down to let everyone know that she is cushty with anything people/beings/aliens have to offer*

Seriously, if we were the most "intelligent" life forms (yes that is open to debate I know but dolphins haven't made bad TV or generic music so shu'p!) in the universe it's a little disappointing do you not think? Does the universe wonder if it has failed a little bit in not being able to improve. Did it get a C+? Some good ideas but could have improved a little in places or tried out some other plans for life forms? Just wondering is all. It would be nice to think that we aren't the most intelligent or whatever out there. That there are other beings just somewhere else and they haven't bothered to find us... or don't want to. Or are there other beings wondering exactly the same? Who knows... really.

It would be creepy cool if there were other humanoid forms somewhere. I wonder if they would have any good music.

An added smiling L-chibi. Just to break up my talking with a happy picture. I found it earlier today on google so I thought I would share. It makes me smile =)

I've been thinking a lot recently. Like a and lot. I haven't really sorted out my thoughts yet. Like quite a lot of thinking on my identity, who I am, all that jazz. I've been to a few different counselling sessions and quite often they start with this question:

"What is it that you want to get out of this?"

Or at least something similar. How do you answer that? I thought it was pretty obvious. Why am I here? I want to be happier, feel better, not be so miserable? Any of those work? Apparently they don't want those kinds of answers. I think about it a lot but It's rather important, to everyone really. What is it that you are wanting? Some people suss this out fast, some never do. I know Ralph P.Watch has asked about this but it has always been somewhere in my brain. I think because it goes hand in hand for me with "what is wrong with me?".

I actually ask these two questions a lot to people. Not what is wrong with them, what is wrong with me. I process questions and thoughts better by asking out loud. I do it in films, to the annoyance of my family. They turn over the channel and a car explodes and I ask "what is going on". It is met with the answers of "we/I know as much as you do". Now this was like a rhetorical question, I just talk out loud too much.

Like right now. I'm talking too much. Just processing I guess. I started out with the idea that this blog would just be about superficial stuff, music and clothes and stuff I want to buy or have bought but I've started processing on here. I've started wondering about some stuff and I'm being much more open about stuff to, possibly, people I don't even know. Where are we headed I wonder?

Apparently my waffling is good. Oh I said something about that last night...

Oh yes. I waffle all over my blog, Belgium, potato or otherwise. =D

So... I don't like giving too much about myself out there in one go, I like to believe I make you work for these things. I might move onto my album reviewing now =D

Placebo: Without You I'm Nothing

I love this album. It's so wonderful. The title is from The Crawl which is a wonderful song. Pure Morning is a song that Blue gave me a long time ago. We used to groove to it in art years and years ago when she had black, gelled, spiky hair. She was a proper goth, I so worshipped her for her balls to being someone who stood out. Actually I generally worship Blue, you've probably all noticed. She's my besty.

But yes so this album is really awesome. Placebo are being their usual rockish selves, it's their early sound which is where I think I prefer them although I do really like some of their later tracks so maybe I just haven't sat and listened to their later music enough yet.

Again it's an album from the time of my life where I was trying to get through a lot, like everyone else. It's the really impressionable age. Make or break. Like practically everyone else on the planet I was bullied a lot and this was something I listened to in that period of my life where I was trying to recuperate from that. I don't know where my point was going. I was going to say it is the time of life that I remember best but that would be a lie. It's just from a time of life that was there and listening to this music clearly made a mark. Otherwise it wouldn't be something that I come back to with open arms.

I wonder what I would be life if I had broken out of my self imposed prison I had set myself by that point and not tried to blend in. Hmmm...

 

Seriously give Placebo a listen if you haven't before, they're pretty interesting if nothing else.

24/100

Omg too much talking and openness but I'm leaving this...

You guys are like my therapy or something

Loves as always, Buttercup xxx